Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. "Look,"
said one, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied
the other. That was the end of the discussion.
WHY COFFEE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
-
You don't have to put cream in
your coffee to make it taste good.
-
Coffee doesn't complain when
you put whipped cream in it.
-
A cup of coffee looks good in
the morning.
-
You won't fall asleep after a
cup of coffee.
-
You can always warm coffee up.
-
Coffee comes with endless refills.
-
Coffee is cheaper.
-
You won't get arrested for ordering
coffee at 3 AM.
-
Coffee never runs out.
-
Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow
morning.
-
You can take black coffee home to meet
your parents.
-
You can make coffee as sweet as you
want.
-
You can smoke while drinking coffee.
-
You can put out a cigarette in a cup
of coffee.
-
Coffee smells and tastes good.
-
You don't have to put vinegar in your
coffee.
-
If your coffee pot leaks, you can use
a regular paper towel.
-
You can always get fresh coffee.
-
You can turn the pot on, leave the
room, and it'll be hot when you get
back.
-
They sell coffee at police stations.
-
You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
-
Coffee goes down easier.
-
If you put chocolate in your coffee,
it doesn't put on weight.
-
No matter how ugly you are, you can
always get a cup of coffee.
-
A big cup or small cup? It doesn't
matter.
-
Your coffee doesn't talk to you.
-
Coffee smells good in the morning.
-
Coffee is good when it's cold too.
-
Coffee stains are easier to remove.
-
Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things
in it.
-
Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood
you're in.
-
Coffee doesn't shed.
-
Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.
-
You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant
by putting cream in it.
-
Coffee doesn't mind being ground.
-
No matter how bad coffee is, you can
always make it better.
-
Coffee doesn't have a time of the month...it's
good all the time.
-
When coffee gets old, you can throw
it away.
-
When you have a coffee, you don't end
up with a pube in the back of your throat.
-
Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.
-
Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up
at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.
-
INSTANT COFFEE!
-
You can have an intelligent conversation
with coffee.
-
It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee
to grow mold.
-
Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger
cup.
-
This list compiled by Ant, Shanen,
Ken, and Ratt. Hope you've all enjoyed.
From centuries past, when barristers
and solicitors did not mix:
Once, in Dublin, a solicitor came
up to a barrister to beg a subscription towards the funeral expenses of
a brother solicitor who had died in distressed circumstances.
The barrister at once tendered
a pound note.
"Oh, I only want a shulling from
each contributor" said the solicitor.
"Take it, my dear fellow," replied
the barrister. "And while you're at it, bury twenty of them!"
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