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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

If winners never quit and quitters never win, which fool came up with: “Quit while you’re ahead.”


A Gentleman’s Game?
The new batsman was having a terrible time and was lucky to be still at the crease. During a lull, he stammered to the wicket -keeper: “Well, I expect you’ve seen worse players.”
He said:” I expect you’ve seen worse players.”
“I heard you the first time. I was trying to think.”


George always played cricket on Sunday. This troubled his wife, who asked the vicar:”Is it a sin for him to play on Sunday?”
“It’s not a sin,” replied the vicar. “The way he plays, it’s a crime.”


The cricketer was talking cricket, and his girlfriend was getting bored.
“Have you heard of WG Grace?”
“Heard of him? I had launch with him the other day.”
"Don't be silly. He’s been dead for seventy years.”
“I thought he was quiet.”


The cricketer was visiting his psychiatrist.
Cricketer: It’s terrible. I can’t score runs, I’m a terrible bowler, and I can’t hold a catch. What can I do?
Doctor: Get another job.
Cricketer: I can’t. I’m playing for England tomorrow.

George spent every Sunday playing cricket. It finally got too much for his wife who exploded: “Cricket! All you ever think about is cricket! I think I’d dead if you stayed home one Sunday!”
“Now then, dear. It’s no use trying to bribe me.”
Home Truths:
A  man does’nt mind if his wife can read him like a book, as long as she does’nt do it aloud.
A typo in a recent newspaper report:
“The docter felt the patient’s purse and admitted there was nothing he could do.”

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