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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

A guy got in a crowded bus and to show-off, told to the
conductor: "You seemed to have collected all kinds of animals in the bus."
Conductor: Not all of them were there till you came. A donkey was missing.
A accountants firm was named as Patel & Patel & Patel & Patel.
A person called the firm and asked: Can I speak to Mr Patel?
Reply: Mr Patel has gone for lunch.
Person: Can I speak to other Mr Patel?
Reply: Mr Patel is out of town.
Person: Can I speak to third Mr Patel?
Reply: Mr Patel is not in his seat.
Person: Can I speak to last Mr Patel?
Reply: Patel speaking.
Lady 1: My husband can speak on any topic. He is so intelligent.
Lady 2: My husband does not even need a topic to speak even for hours. He is a politician.
Please donít send me to the hospital, I know what will happen.
Hospital will grab my purse,
Switch me from nurse to nurse,
I will go from bad to worse,
And end up in a hearse.
Customer: How much do you charge for a haircut ?
Barber: Forty Rupees.
Customer: How much for a shave?
Barber : Twenty.
Customer: Right - shave my head.
Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone dead?
Sunny: Yes All of them
Ramesh : Why are you not coming to the club dance tonight?
Shanu: Because there is a law against it.
Ramesh : Which law?
Shamu: My mother-in-law.
Interviewer: How much is "two and two"?
1st Candidate: (Doctor) Twenty two
2nd Candidate: (Engineer) Four
3rd Candidate: (Lawyer) Could be twenty two or four
4th Candidate: (Chartered Accountant) How much do you want?

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