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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Betty: Two men are in love with me, Maurice and George. Who'll be the lucky one?
Jill: Maurice will marry you, George will be the lucky one!
   
A young girl wanted to give her dog a drink and was looking around for something to put the water in. "Anyone seen the dog bowl?" she asked the family in general
"No" replied her younger brother, "but I've seen him make some marvellous catches."
   
Doctor: I'm afraid I can't diagnose your complaint. I think it must be the drink
Patient: All right then. I'll come back when you are sober.
   
Did you know that Jim has died?
No I didn't, what were his last words?
There weren't any. His wife was there.
   
What is your age? asked the judge. "Remember you're under oath"
Sixteen years and some months, the woman answered.
How many month? the judge persisted.
One hundred and sixty eight
   
Q: How can a young lady refuse an indecent proposal?
A: By saying "Sexcuse me"
   
Hotel manager: Here are some views of the hotel for you to take with you.
Departing customer: Thanks, but after eating your food for three days, sleeping on one of your beds and seeing what you've charged, I've my own view of your hotel.
   
The young lady who went to the hotel asked the desk clerk if he could give her a room and a bath?
"I can give you a room, but you'll have to take your own bath." came the reply.
   
Customer: Can I stay in your hotel comfortably?
Proprietor: Absolutely, feel free and at home.
Customer: Oh, dammit! I'll have to face the same problems here also. Then it's better that I go home.
   
Raju: How many sides does a circle have?
Ravi: A circle does not have any side."
Raju: Yes, it does, the inside and the outside.
   
"Soldier," asked the Colonel, "do you have change for a hundred?"
"Sure buddy. I think I can manage that."
That's no way to address an officer, screamed the Colonel. Now let's try it again - Soldier, do you have change for a hundred?"
"No, Sir," was the polite reply.
   

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