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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

I could have been:
A saint but I could never put my soul into it!
A hair-dresser but my efforts didn't jell together!
An ace marksman but my father shot down the idea.
   
History Teacher : Rahim, would you have liked to live in Mughal times?
Rahim : Oh yes, Sir! I'd have loved it.
Teacher : Why?
Rahim : Because there'd be five hundred years less history to learn.
   
Customer : I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the mana-ger.
Waiter : It's no use. He won't eat either.
   
The customer entered a restaurant and called the waiter over in disgust: Hey, what do you call this stuff? he asked. "Tea or coffee? It tastes like kerosene.
"The waiter replied, "Then it must be tea. Our coffee tastes like petrol!"
   
An anti-smoking slogan: It requires only will power and not Wills power in the puff to stop smoking!
   
Definitions:
Antiques: Merchandise sold for old times sake.
Boss: The thing that mother allows father to think that he is.
Cloud: A big wet sponge in the sky
Dentist: A doctor with lots of pull.
Professor: Someone who goes to college and never gets out.
Snoring : Sheet music.
Steam: Water gone crazy with the heat.
   
Teacher: What are the products of West India?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Come on! Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from the next door neighbour.
   

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