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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Some definitions
College : an institution which some attend to pass examina-tions, some to pass time, and still others, to pass com-ments.
College professor : A guy who is paid to study the sleeping habits of students.
Terms of endearment
Jeweller : You're precious to me.
Thief : You've stolen my heart.
Glutton : I can never have enough of you.
Miner : You're dynamite.
"Did you know that I had taken up story-writing as a career?"
"No. Sold anything yet?"
"Yes; my watch, my saxophone and my overcoat".
The places they like to go :
Ecologists : Greenland.
Fishermen  : Finland.
Lions : Denmark.
Elephants : Ivory Coast.
Optimists : Cape of Good Hope.
Bulls : Oxford.
Dry cleaners : Washington.
Two old-timers were discussing a mutual friend.
Said One: Poor old John is living in the past.
Why shouldn't he, the old-timer replied, it's a lot cheaper.
Q : What happens when farm hands go on strike?
A : There are ryots all over!
Do you drink?
Do you smoke?
Do you gamble?
Do you do anything that's naughty?
Sure, I just tell lies. 

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