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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

A man, in need of money, went to one of his friends and said: Do you remember the old saying, A friend in need is a friend indeed?
Yes, stranger. Came the reply.
   
Mother: Johnny, what are you doing up there in your room?
Johnny: I'm watching that little 9-inch TV set that Aunt Grace gave me.
Mother: Always watching TV, you should widen your horizons.
Johnny: OK I will go watch the 21-inch set in the living room.
   
A Hollywood producer was determined to give his mother a birthday present that would outshine the luxurious gifts his brothers wee giving her. He heard about an amazing myna which could talk in 12 languages and sing the scores of 10 major operas. He immediately bought the bird and sent it to his mother. It cost him $50,000.
The day after her birthday, he phoned his mother.
What did you think of bird, mother, he asked eagerly.
His mother replied: Delicious!
   
Beggar looking for a hand-out:
Mister, I haven't tasted food in a week.
Passer-by: Don't worry. It still tastes the same.
   
Q: What is more useful, the sun or the moon?
A: the moon, because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines during the day when you don't need it.
   
What is a diplomat? A boy asked his father.
Well, replied his father, if your mother wants to buy a fur coat, and I can persuade her to buy a sweater instead, I am a diplomat. 
   

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