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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

A man comes hurriedly to a doctor and say, "Doctor, my child has swallowed my pen. What should I do?"
Doctor: "Don't worry, until the pen is recovered, please manage with a pencil."
Favourite films of:
P.T. Usha : Daud
M.F. Husain : Rangeela
Mahatma Gandhi : Independence Day.
NRIs : Hindustani
BSF Personnel: Border
Judge : Tarazu
Executioner : Mrityudand
Poster in a shop: We exchange everything - radios, TV's washing machines, VCRs Please bring you wife also and get a deal for your life.
Rita has been married many a times. She says she doesn't mind if anyone loves her and leaves her, provided he leaves her enough!
"Call me a taxi," said the old man.
"OK," said the watchman, "but you look more like truck to me."
Bachelor : a woman on his mind than on his neck.
Husband : One who lays down the law to his wife and then accepts her amendments.
Family : A group of people who own different keys to the same house.
Opportunist : A man who, on finding himself in hot water, decides he might as well have a bath anyway.
Guest : One who makes the hosts feel at home.
Advertisement for an auction sale of automobiles: You'll be guaranteed a second-hand car in first crash condition.

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