When
your wife lowers her voice, it means that she something. When she
raises it, it means she didn't get it.
What
kills and travels in packs?
Cigarettes!
I
find television very educative. Every time someone turns one the
set, I go into the other room and read a book.
A
doctor got a call from an excited woman "My son just swallowed
ten aspirins, what should I do?"
He replied, "Give him a headache, what else?"
The
visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in
a corner and on enquiry was told that the elephant had died.
Fond of him, was he? the visitor asked.
"It's not that," Came the reply "He's the chap who
has to dig the grave."
How
to keep a moron busy?
Give a piece of paper with PTO written on both sides. How to keep the second moron busy? Ask him to find the corner in a circular room.
In
the middle of his first night of his marriage (coinciding with his
25th birthday) the bridegroom was roused by the telephone. "Its
me, your mother. Happy birthday."
"Thank you Mother. But why did you have to wake me up at 2
a.m."
"Because you did the same to me 25 years ago."
Father
to son: What is 12 * 7? Son: 88
Father gave a chocolate to his son. On seeing this the neighbour said : But it is not 88 but
84 Father : He is improving. Yesterday he had answered as 94.
