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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

A big crowd had gathered at an accident site. A over enthusiastic reporter was not able to get near because of the crowd. He started weeping and said "Let me through, I am the brother of the victim."
The crowd made way for him. Lying in the pool of blood was a donkey.
   
How did your argument with your wife end?
"Ultimately she came down on her knees" and said "If you are man come out from beneath the bed and fight like a man."
   
Guy 1: I am going to go to the sun.
Guy2: But you will melt in the heat.
Guy 1: So what. I will go at night.
   
Definitions:
Advice: The only thing we always want to give but never like to take
Politician: One who promises a dam where there is no river
Bachelor: One who wishes he had as much fun as his married friends imagine he has
   
Guy 1: Since I bought the new car, I do not have to walk to the bank to deposit money
Guy 2: Ah! So you drive to the bank
Guy 1: No, I am left with no money to deposit 
   
Teacher Suriya! Do you find the questions really difficult?
Suriya: No ma'am, the questions are really easy. But it's the answers that the difficult.
   
A mechanic in an undergarments factory, regretful that he could not make a career for himself in engineering writes in his autobiography: "I could not get a chance in software engineering so I tried my hand in softwear engineering."
   
The absent-minded professor drove up to the door of his garage, looked inside, blinked, and he turned around and drove at full speed to the police station "Inspector" he gasped, My car's been stolen."
   

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