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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Aruna : Do you know that my aunt's baby is a year old now, and he's been walking since he was eight months old?
Prema : Really? He must be awfully tired.
   
Fat person : I am really disgusted with my new diet.
Friend: Why?
Fat person : I stepped on the weighting scale to day and it said one person at a time, please!
   
Raghu : Vivek, do you know swimming?
Vivek : No.
Raghu : With so much of water around you, what can't you swim?
Vivek : with so much of air around you, why can't you fly?
   
Saurav : How old are you?
Gaurav : Pushing thirty.
Saurav : From which direction?
   
Q : What travels faster, heat or cold?
A : Heat, because it is easy to catch it is easy to catch a cold.
   
Mom : Lalit, I thought I told you to watch for the milk boiling over.
Lalit : I did mom, it boiled over five minutes ago.
   
Teacher : Nancy what is a cannibal?
Nancy : I don't know, Ma'am
Teacher : Well, if you were to eat your parents, what would you be?
Nancy : An orphan, Ma'am.
   
Q : Why do we say, 'he earns his bread... when what we really mean is he earns his money...?
A : Because everybody 'kneads it.
Q : Why are tall people lazier than short people?
A : Because they're longer in bed. 
   

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