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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Guide (to a tourist in a museum) : Donít sit on this chair. This is Maharana Pratapís chair.
Tourist : I am very tired. Let me sit. I will get up when he comes.
   
Guy 1 : Are cooks cruel ?
Guy 2 : Yes
Guy 1 : How do you sat that ?
Guy 2 : Because the beat eggs and batter fish.
   
Guy 1 : What happens when you fall from the top of a 5 storey building ?
Guy 2 : You become extraordinary. You possess more bones than others.
   
What is the surest way to double money ?
Fold it.
   
Judge : How many times have you been to jail before ?
Defendant : Nine
Judge : In that case I will have to give you the maximum sentence.
Defendant : Donít you give your regular clients a discount.
   
Employer : For this job we want a responsible man.
Applicant : You canít get better than me. Wherever I have worked, if anything went wrong, they said, I was responsible.
   
Boss : John, why are you late.
John : I got married sir.
Boss : Well, but see that it doesnít happen again.
   
If you have fallen for your best friends girl, you probably arenít sharing his happiness, but certainly are borrowing all his sorrows.
   
Teacher : Why do we see lightning first and then thunder ?
Student : Our eyes are in front of our ears.
   

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