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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Definitions :
Yawn : The only time married men get to open their mouth.
Actor : A man who tries to be everything but himself
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Adult : A person who has stopped growing at ends but grows in the middle.
Clock : A device to measure how much time one is wasting.
Lock : A device that informs the burglar about the absence of the occupant and eases the burglary.
While Mr Smith waited at the airport to board a plane, he noticed a computer that would give our weight and fortune. Mr Smith dropped a coin in the slot, the computer screen displayed: "You weigh 80 kg., you are married, and you are going to London." Mr Smith was dumbstruck.
Another man put a coin and the screen read: "You weigh 88 kg., you are divorced and are on your way to Tokyo." Mr Smith enquired from the man whether those lines about him were right and the man replied positively. Then Mr Smith went to the menís room, changed his clothes and went to the computer again. This time the screen read: "You still weigh 80 kg., You are still married and you have just missed your flight to London."
Museum Administrator: Thatís a 5000 year old statue you have just broken.
Visitor: Thank God. I thought it was a new one.
Career Girl : One who prefers plots and plans to pots and pans.
Neighbour : One who knows more about you than you do
Etc.: A sign used to make others believe that you know more than what you really do.
Politician : A person ready to give your life for his country
Doctor : The guy who cures your ills with pills and kills you with bills.
Smile : Feminine electromagnetic force which causes instant drop in masculine voltage
Aroma : Whisper heard by nose.
Love : A surgery involving heart transplant where the incision is made through the eye without any bloodshed.
John : Why have you been telling everyone that I am a fool?
Harry : Oh, sorry. I didnít know that it was a secret.

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