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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

The parents of a hyperactive child came home from a dinner party and found the baby sitter lying in the middle of the room. They exclaimed "What happened" The baby sitter replied " I am fine. I am just laying dead. This is the only way I get some rest."
An almost bald man was arguing with the barber as to why was he charging so much for cutting so little hair. The barber replied " 90% is for finding the hair and 10% for cutting.
Customer: "Why have written salt on the sugar bag"
Shopkeeper: " That is to fool the ants".
Guy 1: "Are you afraid of your wife?"
Guy 2: "I will ask my wife and tell you."
Guy 1: "How long were you in jail?"
Guy 2: "Two weeks"
Guy 1: "What was the charge?"
Guy 2: "No charge. Everything was free".
In a contest for road safety slogans, one suggestion
He looked; She didnít
He is; She isnít.
New Yorker, looking at Niagara Falls, "I bet you donít have anything like that in Texas."
Texan: "We donít, but we have a plumber who can fix that leak in ten minutes".
Guy 1: Do you believe in ghosts?
Guy 2: Of course not.
Guy 1: Then would spend the night in the haunted house?
Guy 2: No.
Guy 1: Why not?
Guy 2: I might be wrong.
Guy 1: She is very environment friendly. She doesnít use deodorants as they are harmful to environment.
Guy 2: But she can kill half the human race just by lifting her hand up.

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