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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Guy 1: I am thinking of going to Hawaii. How much will it cost?
Guy 2: Nothing. There is no charge for thinking.
What is the difference between the ‘debtor’ and the ‘debtee’?
The latter has better memory than the former. 
Guy 1: Once Heaven and Hell had a football match. Who won?
Guy 2: Heaven, obviously. All the best players are in Heaven.
Guy1: Wrong, as all the referees are in Hell.
Patient: Are these health tonics beneficial?
Doctor: Yes, to the manufacturers.
Guy 1: I will give you $ 10, if you let me break 3 eggs on your head
Guy 2: OK
And he stood still. Guy 1 broke 2 eggs and just sat
Guy 2: Break the third egg fast
Guy 1: I am not stupid. That would cost me $ 10.

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey.  He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying, "That will be $5,000."  The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey.  Most of them are only a few hundred dollars.  Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth it!"
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage.  "That one's even more expensive- $10,000!  What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java.  All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own.  The price tag around its neck read $50,000.  She gasped to the shopkeeper,  "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a consultant."


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