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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Dormitory: A dirty room.
Evangelist: Evils Agent.
The Morse code: Here   come dots.
A Decimal point: Im a dot in place.
Slot machines: Cash lost in Em.
Snooze Alarms: Alas! No more Zs.
Mother in law: Women hitler.
The Earthquakes: That   queer shake.


Facts of Life:
By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Logic is the systematic method of arriving at the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggy!" till  you can find a rock.
The best reason to divorce a man is health------ you're sick of him.


Actual bumper stickers:
When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Mercedes.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, othertimes I let her sleep.
Warning----- dates in the calendar are closer than they appear.


The moron enters a bar and moves towards the vending machine. He inserts a coin, presses a button and out pops a coke. Ecstatic, he inserts another coin and gets another coke. He continues inserting coins till the man behind him finally loses his patience and asks, "Excuse me, if you don't mind, could I use the machine?" Exasperated, the moron turns around, rolls his eyes at him and says,"Duh! Can't you see I'm still winning ?!"


Woman speak:
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb woman, but hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

Romance is strictly a matter of timing----- the girl has to give in just before the guy gives up.

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