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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then you see what somebody else has and you wish you had ordered that.


A Diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Why did Mickey mouse get shot?
Because Donald ducked.


An english professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and asked the students to punctuate it. The men write: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."The women wrote:"A woman, without her, man is nothing."


A policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a stop sign, and was about to give him ticket when the motorist said, "Officer, you can't give me a ticket for that!"
"Why not?" asked the officer.
"Because although I did not stop, the way was clear and it was safe, so I slowed right down, and it's almost the same."
 The officer then pulled out his baton and started hitting the motorist.
" What are you doing!" yelled the motorist in surprise.
"Do you want me to slow down or stop?" asked the officer.

What do you call a scared cow?
A coward.
Bill and Hillary went out for dinner and when the waiter came to take their order, he asked Hillary how she wanted her steak, she replied,"Medium."
Then the waiter asked,"How about your vegetable?"
She replied:"Oh, he can order for himself."

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