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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk ! (I don't want to be an exception!) 
   
You can be sure it is a Sardarji when somebody... 
  • Sends a fax with a stamp on it. 
  • Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept. 
  • Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead, 
  • Got locked in Furniture Shop and slept on the floor. 
  • At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he put "Sagittarius." 
  • Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
  • Studies for a blood test and fails. 
  • Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate." 
  • Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind. 
  • Tries to drown a fish. 
  • In the application form in column Sex, he writes "Occasionally" 
  • If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change. 
  • Thinks socialism means partying. 
  • Trips over a cordless phone. 
  • Invents a solar powered flashlight. 
  • Sells the car for gas money. 
  • Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves. 
  • Kidnaps a kid and pins a ransom note on back of the kid and sends him home to his father 
  • The father pays the ransom
   
Definitions 
Diplomacy:
Telling your boss he has an open mind, instead of saying he has a hole in his head. 
Indigestion: The failure to adjust a square meal into a round stomach.
   
Priest to child: Do you always say your prayers before going to bed ? 
Child : No, my mother does. 
Priest : So what does she say ? 
Child : Thank God you're in bed at last!
   
Q: What is the favourite raga of all wives ? 
A: Mian ki todi.
   
Q: What did the millionaire say to his cardiologist? 
A: Dil ki awaaz sun, mere kamane pe naja. 
   
Why are these Indians always late? 
Milkman : Because the water supply starts late. 
Husband: Because his secretary leaves late. 
Wife: Because her beautician comes late. 
Student : Because Mom does his homework late. 
Teacher: Because the students are always late 
Principal : Because the teachers are late. 
Politician : Because the crowds are late. 
Doctor: Because the patients come too late. 
People like us: Because it's better to be late than never!
   

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