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Jokes for You from ChooseIndia

They retired him on health grounds. His boss was sick of him.
Guy 1 : You know, I have taken story writing as my career.
Guy 2 : Ah, Sold anything yet?
Guy 1 : Yes, my watch, my saxophone and my overcoat.
Definition :
Policeman :
a person who is never present for help in times of trouble.
Student : Young pensioner without any previous service.
Economist : a man who knows more about money than people have.
Husband : One who lays down the law to his wife and then accepts all amendments.
Every man should have a hobby - but make sure your wife doesn't know about her.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
A Sunday school teacher asked a little boy, "Johnny where is God?"
"In the bathroom of my house," replied Johnny.
"why do u say that?" inquired the shocked teacher.
"Because every morning my daddy pounds on the door and says :"My God, are you still in there?" 
So what ? Who's in a hurry ?
Teacher: I asked you write this poem 10 times as your handwriting is bad, but you have written it only thrice 
Student: My arithmetic is bad as well.

A lawyer named 'Strange' was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put 'Here lies an honest lawyer'." "But that won't let people know who it is," protested the lawyer. "It most certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"


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