If The Rand Corporation made toasters...
It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black
cube. Every morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their
service department would have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints
for the box would be highly classified government documents. The X-Files
would have an episode about it.
If the NSA made toasters...
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only
the NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons
of national security.
If Sony made toasters...
The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single
piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your
If Timex made toasters...
They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters
that take a licking and keep on toasting.
And, of course:
If Microsoft made toasters...
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have
to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still
have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring
a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small
city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first
toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to
be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who
made them.Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would
buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
If Apple made toasters...
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but
5 years earlier.
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show
A window was something you hated to clean....
And RAM was the cousin of a goat.....
Top 5 Reasons Why Computers Must be Male
They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
They periodically cut you off right when you think you've
established a network connection.
They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't
do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
They're typically obsolete within five years and need to
be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already
invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with
an underpowered system.
They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time
you have their attention.