Jokes for You from Chooseindia
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REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

  1.  Responsibility makes me nervous.
  2.  They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions.
  3.  Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.
  4.  I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
  5.  The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
  1.  While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility.
  2.  I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:
  1.  Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
  2.  I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant.
PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:
  1.  Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.
PERSONAL INTERESTS:
  1. Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.
SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:
  1. Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.
  2. Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
  3. I'm a rabid typist.
  4. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a
  5. Midwest chain operation.

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside
is numbered." "I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When you open them up
all their organs are alphabetically ordered." The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable."
 
 
 
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