Jokes for You from Chooseindia
joke                          joker

Firemen and paramedics frantically work to remove an attorney from his demolished car which was just involved in a head on collision. "Oh ... my Mercedes, my poor Mercedes ... Oh ...," the attorney kept repeating through his pain. "Look fella," said the paramedic, "Quit worrying so much about your car, your entire arm has been severed below the elbow and you could bleed to death!" As the attorney looks down to see his arm missing, he begins whimpering, "My Rolex, my poor Rolex ... Oh ..."

An attorney ran over to the office of his client. "I can't believe it!" said the angered attorney, "You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in your case? That judge is as straight as an arrow. Now we're certain to lose this case!" "Relax," said the client, "I sent it in the prosecutor's name."

While summing up the State's case against the alleged despicable conduct of the defendant, the Prosecutor addressed the jury, "Ladies and gentlemen -- all I can say is that if Moses had known the defendant, there would have been two or three more Commandments."

After her conviction of murder in the second degree, the District Attorney, during her sentancing hearing said, "Mrs. Packard -- after you put the arsenic in the stew and served it to your husband, didn't you feel even a little remorse for what you were doing?" "I did," she said calmly. "And when was that?" quipped the D.A. "When he asked for seconds!"

After his motion to surpress evidence was denied by the court the attorney spoke up, "Your Honor," he said, "What would you do if I called you a stupid, degenerate, old fool." The Judge, now also angered, revered, "I would hold you in contempt of court and seek to have you suspended from practicing before this court again!" "What if I only thought it?" asked the attorney. "In that case, there is nothing I could do, you have the right to think whatever you may." "Oh, I see. Then, if it pleases the court, let the record reflect, I 'think' you're a stupid, degenerate, old fool."

What do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start..

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one;
Once launched, they can't be recalled; and
When they land, they screw everything up for the next 20 years.

A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie. "I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch." "What catch?" the man asked. The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted." "Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man. "What is your first wish?" asked the genie. "Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?" "I'd love a million dollars," replied the man. POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie. "Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man. "What is your third and final wish?" The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney!"

More Jokes ......
If you know a joke which you want to share with the world, e-mail us. We would include the joke.  
We try to keep jokes in good taste and which would not offend people or a certain section of society, but we are sorry if some joke still offend you. You may mail us your resevations, we would remove the jokes.
Designed by Quasar Services