A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar. A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?" The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal." And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up
the word 'panda.' "What's it say?" asks the bartender. The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the
state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were waiting to see their obstetrician. Trying to make conversation, the brunette said, "I'm going to have a boy. I'm sure of it because I was on top."
The redhead said, "I know I'm going to have a girl. I'm sure because I was on the bottom." The blonde suddenly burst into tears.The other women tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. "I think I'm going to have puppies," she sobbed.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair
brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump-me Dump-me.
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