Q.Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
A.To keep his ankles warm.
Q.Why can't they prosecute Bill Clinton?
A.Monica swallowed the evidence
Q.What's Bill's favorite garden tool?
Q.What's the Oval Office Motto?
A.Wait 'til we get our hands on you.
Q.What did Bill say when asked if it was possible to
make a hormone?
A.I've done it lots of times, I just refuse to pay her!
Q.Where Does Bill Wear His Underwear?
A.He doesn't wear any because they take too long to put
on when the Secret Service comes in.
Q.What do the Nixon and Clinton administrations have
A.A crooked Dick in the Oval Office.
Q.What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton desprately
A.A dead girl friend.
Q.Whats the difference between Clinton and a screw driver?
A.A screw driver turns in screws and Clinton screws interns.
Q.Why does Monica refuse to play golf with Bill?
A.Because she's tired of his balls hitting her in the
Q.What do Monica and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A.They both blew the big one.
The wives of three presidents and a prime minister are
talking together about what a penis is called in their native languages.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a Gentleman because
it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in
Russia you call it a patriot because you never know if it will hit you
on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you
call it a curtain because it goes down after the act.
Well, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it
a rumor because it goes from mouth to mouth.
Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, in response
to President Clinton's testimony
"I have had enough. This whole experience has eft a bitter
taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting
the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in myface."
"This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard,
that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and
I know what is coming. I will meet the challenge the only way I know how:
"I have licked bigger things than this before, and I
will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't
a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work nonstop
and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair.
I will not be stained by it."
"Thank you." Monica Lewinsky