If the president could convince every woman in America that the Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he'd even have my vote.
--Newt Gingrich

What's wrong with extending my probe? The president did the same thing.
--Kenneth Starr

The special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony to the entire Grand Jury.
--Monica Lewinsky

Shouldn't the president be held to the same standards as a TV sportscaster?
--Marv Albert

The president should promise to spend the rest of his life trying to find the real person who had oral sex with the intern.
--OJ Simpson

If I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every bimbo who swore she didn't have sex with the president, I'd never get any of my own work done.
--Vernon Jordan

The president should take up skiing.
--Al Gore

If you're looking for me this week, I'll be in the bunker.
--Saddam Hussein

Practicing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making sure the door is locked.
--George Stephanopoulos

In last week's Cabinet meeting, the president asked us to go out and win one for the zipper.
--Madeliene 'Aunt Bea' Albright
 

SMALL JOKES
As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?"
A reporter asked Clinton one day.
" Was Monica lying?"
"No", Clinton responded, "She was on her knees."
Monica had just recovered consciousness after surgery and asked the doctor, "How soon will I be able to resume a normal sex life?"
The doctor looked puzzled and replied, "Oh, not very long?"
"Why do you find the question so surprising?", asked Monica.
"Well," replied the surgeon, " to be perfectly honest, I've never had a tonsilectomy patientask me that question before!"
Five USA Presidents: Ford, Reagan, Carter, Nixon and Clinton were on a ship that hit an iceberg.
Ford screamed, "What should we do?"
Reagan said, "Man the lifeboats!"
Carter said, "Women and children first!"
Nixon said, "Screw the women and children."
Clinton said, "Do you think we have time?"
In a survey of American women, when asked
"Would you sleep with President Clinton?"
86% replied, "Not again."
Hillary wants a new Chief of Staff. No one has the job yet, but she hopes to interview Lorena Bobbitt soon.
Did you hear that Clinton has broken the 11th. commandment?
"Thou shalt not place thy rod in thy staff"
The White House scandal wasnt really Bill's fault, it was just something he got sucked into.