SO THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE THINKING
The reason it's always so difficult for this president to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it's usually three different stories.
If the president could convince every woman in America
that the Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he'd even have my vote.
What's wrong with extending my probe? The president did
the same thing.
The special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony
to the entire Grand Jury.
Shouldn't the president be held to the same standards
as a TV sportscaster?
The president should promise to spend the rest of his
life trying to find the real person who had oral sex with the intern.
If I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every
bimbo who swore she didn't have sex with the president, I'd never get any
of my own work done.
The president should take up skiing.
If you're looking for me this week, I'll be in the bunker.
Practicing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making
sure the door is locked.
In last week's Cabinet meeting, the president asked us
to go out and win one for the zipper.
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