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Clinton and Sadam
President Clinton visits Saddam Hussein to talk about the UNSCOM inspections in Iraq. As he sits down he sees three buttons in the armrest of Saddam's chair. When Saddam sits down, Clinton immediately asks, "Why the three buttons in your armrest?"
"You'll see," says Saddam.
After 10 minutes Saddam presses the first button, and WHACK a boxing glove hits Clinton in the face. Clinton grabs his nose, while Saddam just laughs.
Clinton manages to remain calm until, after another 10 minutes, Saddam presses the second button, and another boxing glove hits Clinton in the stomach. While Clinton is gasping for air, Saddam falls out of his chair from laughing.
Clinton is highly annoyed by now, but remains outwardly calm. After another 5 minutes, Saddam presses the third button, and from under the table another boxing glove hits Clinton, this time right in the crotch. Clinton is really fed up by it now and breaks off the talks. "We'll continue this next week in the White House," says the President.
Saddam, has tears in his eyes from laughing, and can only nod in agreement.
As agreed, Clinton receives Saddam in the Oval Office a week later, and as Saddam sits down, he sees three buttons in the armrest of Clinton's chair.
As the meeting goes on, Saddam sees Clinton press the first button and immediately ducks, but nothing happens.
This doesn't stop Clinton from laughing really loud. Clinton continues where he left off, and after a few minutes presses the second button. Saddam again reacts instinctively, and jumps up to avoid whatever is coming.
Again absolutely nothing happens, and this time it's Clinton who falls out of his chair from laughing.
Saddam is totally bewildered, and wonders what the heck is happening. But no harm has come to him, so he retakes his seat and the talks continue.
After a few more minutes, Clinton presses the third button. This time, Saddam doesn't even flinch, but stays in his chair as though nothing unusual is taking place. Clinton, however, is rolling on the floor, doubled up from laughter.
Saddam is not only bewildered-- now he is angry. He springs to his feet and shouts, "I've had enough of this, I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Through tears of laughter, Clinton says, "Baghdad.... what Baghdad?"

A policeman at the scene was trying to take her knickers off, his superior asked what he thought he was doing. He replied, "you told me to measure the skid marks".

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Your computer speeds up, your driver runs into a post processor, and your hard drive crashes.

News Flash: Paris Terrorists now know that they need someting heavier or faster than a Mercedes to knock down bridges...

Bill Gates was dissapointed to hear how Diana died...
Her Crashes affect more people than his.

"paparazzi defense" becoming in vogue for drunk drivers...
...Indeed some suggest the 'not guilty by reason of paparazzi' boon is the biggest plea to hit the U.S. judicial system since the classic 'not guilty by of reason insanity' line.

What do Princess Diana and the Eurostar have in common?
They both travel through a tunnel at 120mph and terminate in Paris.

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