Twenty reasons why Jesus is different to Diana
- You don't have to apologise for not believing in Jesus
- You don't have to queue up for 24 hours to sign the condolences books for Jesus
- No one thinks MI5 killed Jesus
- The papers never changed their minds about Jesus
- You can't do 120mph on a donkey
- The Beatles were bigger than Jesus
- Jesus only healed the lame; he never got his picture taken with them
- Jesus hung around with Jews
- Schoolchildren can opt out of the compulsory act of worship for Jesus
- Jesus didn't slag off his family on television
- There were only three kings came to see Jesus
- No Christmas carol ever went platinum
- Florists don't make money out of Jesus
- Some Christians admit to doubts about the resurrection
- The Queen was never forced to bow her head for Jesus
- No one ever postponed a Port Vale game for Jesus
- The churches aren't full at Easter
- Jesus didn't even get two 'O' levels
- There were only four accounts written of Jesus's life
- Jesus wouldn't have been seen dead in the back of a Mercedes
Did the British Secret Service kill Princess Diana?
No, the French underground did it.
What is the difference between Prince Charles and Mark Taylor?
Mark Taylor came home with the ashes
Why did the Poms want to cremate Di?
That way they finally get to keep the ashes!
What do Ferrero Rocher and Princess Di have in common?
They both come out of France in a box.
What have Lady Di and a bottle of French wine got in common?
The both came from France in a wooden box
What vegetable is most like Princess Diana?
French squash.
Why are French tramps like Princess Diana?
Because you'll find them smashed against the wall of a Paris underpass on Saturday nights.
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