How do you make a princess pregnant?
Cum on the radiator and let the merc do the rest.
How do you spoil Princess Diana?
Leave her out in the sun.
Did you hear that Prince William went out for a couple of drinks that saturday night and came home absolutely motherless.
Princess Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day... both appear at the Pearly Gates, but St. Peter tells them there is only room for one more in heaven today. So he asks them both why they should be allowed in over the other. Dolly pulls off her top and says, "see? these are the most beautiful ones in God's creation, and he should be allowed to see them every day for eternity." St. Peter says "very nice", then turns to Princess Di and asks why SHE should be allowed in. Di says nothing, but lifts her dress, drops her knickers and douches with a bottle of Perrier. St. Peter says "Ok, Diana you can go in." Dolly is infuriated. "I show you the most beautiful breasts God has ever created, and she performs a vulgar act and you let HER in?"
"I'm sorry," says Peter, "but a Royal Flush always beats a pair."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Di
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
What did Diana do in real life?
Nothing.
Why did Diana die?
Who cares?
Poor Dodi Fayed!
Uninteresting alive,
Just barely when dead.
What was Diana's last dessert dish?
a Turnover.
Did you hear Pizza Hut is anouncing a "Princess Di Meatlover's Pizza"? It's made with two kinds of meat: Egyptian sausage and Welsh beaver.
The princess used to like fish and chips but now she's stuck on ribs.
Diana's name has been changed to...
The Royalty formally known as Princess Di.
What do you give to a princess who has everything?
A safetybelt and an airbag.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
"Darn, I can't auction this dress now!"
What does Princess Diana have in common with Hugh Grant?
They both bought it in the backseat of a car.
What's the similarity between Princess Di and a landmine?
They're both easy to lay but difficult to clear up.
What's the difference between the a Royal Mail strike and Diana?
A Royal mail strike stops the post ... and a post stops Diana.
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