When Princess Di went out she said to her sons i'll be back in a Jiffe
Apparently it wasn't the chauffeurs fault, Di had also been drinking, reports show she had 2 pints of Carling in her.
What did Will Carling, get over Dodi Fayed.
Will Carling scored while Dodi Fayed hit the post.
Was it tactful to escort the coffin with cavalry officers...
and then a load of high power motorbikes
Hint: Major James Hewitt (cad, bounder and ex-lover of the her royalness) was an officer in the house hold cavalry.
Diana's funeral song: "Looking for love in all the wrong places".
What is Dodi's new pet name for Di?
Squidgy
What were Dodi's last words?
'Faster! Faster!'
Hint: The driver misunderstood the expressions of pleasure for orders... hence the accident.
How do you make a hormone?
Put her in a car with an Egyptian playboy and a drunken driver.
Saint Peter asks Lady Di and her three companions why they're here at the Pearly Gates. Di and Dodi answer together, "It's the chauffeurs fault. He was driving like a bloody mad man." The chauffeur tries to defend himself, "No, that's not fair! We where all pretty shit-faced and they kept yelling, 'Faster! Faster! Don't stop! Don't stop!'" "We weren't bloody talking to you," explains Princess Di. Saint Peter turns to the bodyguard. "I don't even want to hear your story. Just go home and forget it."
What did they find in Diana's mouth ?
The tip of an Egyptian penis.
Why will they cremate Princess Di?
She won't fit into the coffin 'cause they can't get her to keep her legs closed!
Upon hearing about her death, one of Diana's lovers said, "Well now that's my Thursday night's f*cked... I wonder what Fergie's doing?"
It was understood that Dodi and Di were due to make a movie togeteher.
It was going to be called Poke-her-highness.
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