I've heard they are changing the name of Mercedes to Mercedes straights, because they don't benz very well.
Why was Diana in a Merc?
Because she flatly refused to get in any other car.
New 1998 model now available:
What does world hunger and a mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Mercedes?
BMW doesn't get any royalties.
Did you know that Diana actually was a reincarnation of Janis Joplin?
She had asked God thirty years ago to buy her a M... B...!
This guy goes into a second hand car dealers looking for a new car, he sees a salesman and asks him for some advice. 'Certainly Sir' the salesman answers. 'Have a look at this 1988 mini, only 70,000 miles on the clock, a bargain at 500 pounds'. The guy looks at the car and replies, 'Yes, but I would like something a bit better.' The salesman answers 'Ok, have a look at this 1990 Ford Escort, 50,000 miles on the clock and only 1000 pounds'. The guy still isn't satisfied and says ' That's ok, but haven't you anything more classy'. The salesman leads the guy to the far corner of the dealership where there is an old 1981 Austin Princess. 'Have a look at this beauty, 100,000 miles and a gift at only 4000 pounds'. '4000 pounds?' replies the guy 'but the other two cars were lots better'. 'Ahh, didn't you know' says the salesman 'you can find parts of a Princess in a Mercedes!'
Did you hear that the French Doctors could have saved Diana but they didn't have the parts for a 1961 Princess.
Why is my Uncle Ted like Dodi's chauffeur?
Because he also used to drive a Princess before he smashed it up.
What's the Queens favourite car?
A smashed up Princess
Man went into a scrap yard, and said. "Have you got any spares for a Mercedes". The assistant replied. "No, but I got a pair of wings for a Princess".
What did Princess Diana do when she heard the driver had been drinking?
She hit the roof.
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